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Shifty Must Die Mode: Playing P/W on the most tryhard difficulty, memoirs of a madman by Shifty Stranger.
In the beginning... There was nothing but bland model UN politics. Out of a small village in Orbis, appeared a player who would one day change the game like no one else would. From Black Knights, in December 2014, Shifty Stranger (the guy writing this thing), would soon make a flop into this cruel dark world. Shifty would begin his days using the Lenny Face and spamming ayy lmao wherever he went. Not caring if it was a serious thread or discussion, merely thinking the game and politics in general were a joke. Dawn of the Ayy lmao Black Knights, then led by Yosodog, would soon enjoy ayy lmao as it was the current meme and strangely had a nice chime to it like Tits Mcgee, only better. And dudes, what could be better than major boobage? Shifty slowly went from that guy you just ignore and periodically ban from your forums and IRC channel for spam and shitposting, to the guy you look forward to seeing what antics he's mustering. Meanwhile, Jimmyvbuck, the weeb Damiyo/Shogun (idk what weebs call themselves nowadays) was busy undermining memes and ayy lmao. Soon Black Knights would grow with their Chode Gayass flag and become a troll AA that was actually somewhat serious thanks to tS. Shifty would still be relegated to playing Cybernations and spamming on BK local chans. The Mensa Offensive BK was a small crap ass AA back then and one of the stupidest things they could do was attack one of the best AAs in the game. We did it. We came, we saw, and we conquered. That was it, ayy lmao, one of the most annoying phrases at the time beat out the best AA. Sure it was a fluke and we didn't do it alone, but we actually did pretty well. Shifty really didn't do much, but shitpost and spam his first ever memes. From early beginnings: https://i.imgur.com/fcJlJoX.png The Rise of Advertisements One day, Alex decided he'd make more cash to gamble away at the local casinos in Montana by adding in-game advertisements. While everyone was making crap tier paint inside jokes, Shifty revolutionized ads by making odd and witty masterful art using the catchphrase ayy lmao and the famous BK ayylien. Soon ayy lmao was no longer the "it" meme, but rather a reinvigorated and now staple part of one of the quickest growing and most successful alliances. His ads went from "oh god, he's using that annoy af dead joke to harass us" to "hey, what's in store for next week's round of ads." Shifty was money, like not dead president on a piece of paper you stick in a stripper's g-string, but actual Money Team money. Like you wanted me for propaganda. Getting someone else was like ordering a Dr. Pepper and getting Physician Assistant Paprika. Like holy hell, anyone else was like foregoing Chinese bootlegs and getting Cambodian bootlegs. Like who does that? I'll tell you who, someone who can't score deals at the local swapmeet or wants to buy a totally sick pet aracnid that's probably endangered and can liquefy your skin like marshmallows on a stove. Or the inside of a hot pocket. The famous ad that started it all: https://i.imgur.com/thoMAFc.png Take a deep breath and relive the magic of launch day. He's a Jukebox Hero As Shifty's photoshop onslaught could not be matched except by Princess Bubblegum, Lordstrum (bless him even though he can't comprehend good pizza) took over as emperor of BK. Lordstrum had the foresight and talent to notice Shifty was no longer a player, a man, nor even a god, but a brand. ''Shifty was pm'd later that day and asked to become the first ever Archduke of Propaganda. Literally, the government changed for advertisements. BK was reeling in the fame. It was not #1 on the score charts, but man it was lit. Best iteration of BK ever. Shifty was now going from spammer to small time local folklore to legend. It wouldn't be long before he became a myth and mightier than Talos. ''The gnome child becomes the symbol of the West and free world: https://i.imgur.com/RnCZPnf.jpg The Two Betrayals One day Shifty was spamming on the forums and IRC back in spring 2016. He met a certain person by the name of a countess who shall not be named. Shifty thought this person was trolling BK by saying we had crap humor. The next day Shifty talked to her and somehow, someway, Shifty was stupid enough to fall in love. She was the bestest person ever. Shifty was bizarrely happy, happier than he had ever been in his life. His ads weren't even gold anymore, they were like multi-platinum, give this man the keys to the house, my wife, and my heart. Anyway, Shifty continued to produce ads, but slowly started to move away from his responsibilities. He was being led astray, but he was too happy thinking his life had found new meaning. The Two Betrayals Pt. 2 As Shifty began to stray further away from what led him to success, (kinda like John Lennon and the Beatles thanks to Yoko Ono, except Shifty would never go down like a weeb), he also became moodier and less about roleplaying as a spamming shitposter of wonder and more of a whiny self-centered asshole. Still, he continued on and Shifty was now one of the big names of P/W. Like you search on Google and Shifty was basically the mascot of P/W. Like Alex would probably name his first born Shifty and his second born Stranger. Kinda like you would Walker and Texas Ranger. But eventually, Shifty's new purpose in life went sour and it ended on December 8th, 2016. This would be the beginning of the end as Shifty's autistic outburst on IRC and Discord was seen as weird, too personal, out of character, and sort of a dick move. Still his status left it as "oh, he must be going through some tough times." Shifty as he begins to sway to the normie side, 2016 colorized: https://i.imgur.com/q1EBjuf.png The end of the BK era and the CKD false hope While Shifty had begun to outgrow his colleagues and was quickly moving closer to securing a solo career and using his fame, the TEst persecution or as it is commonly referred to "Papers Por Favor War" was underway. Shifty felt that TEst was pretty badass and didn't deserve to die. He lurked on the servers and quickly noticed that they were a badass community and were far better players than half the salty ****s in the game. Sadly, their time was coming to an end. Shifty managed to find one bro (who sadly left the game, never forget King in Yellow, #bless) and one Judas (the guy who sent off my warchest). Together they formed the fastest growing and poaching AA ever. Cobra Kai Dojo, a planned out badass ODP only intermediate upper tier AA with mass recruitment. Sounds perfect on paper right? Memes, community, political see-sawing, and a badass theme from a dated reference that's ironically cool again. Wrong, it fell apart quickly after Shifty made the mistake of traveling abroad for a broad and it all fell apart. King in Yellow got busy, Judas Escariot was actually a bro then and was single-handedly holding it down while general membership sperged the hell out. Eventually, Shifty's personal drama ended up killing it and soon CKD began to have a negative connotation. Rumors of it being a hellhole, unorganized, and just constant drama came out. It was all true, but holy hell did it go belly up fast. Instead of being loyal yes men that would bury the drama and later replace Shifty to save the AA, the ethics of the situation and the outside complaints led to even greater infighting. Eventually, Shifty had enough and left after the King in Yellow had also left. The Triumvirate was dead and CKD was a living corpse. A mere shell of what it could have been. Shifty left and took a handful of members (which by then was like a third of CKD's pathetic downsizing) to Knights Templar. Back when CKD was pretty damn cool: https://i.imgur.com/CVktLdp.png https://i.imgur.com/noXun6U.png Knights Templar and the chill era of Thalmor Knights Templar was a blast of fresh air. It was classic BK without the crappy econ policies, CKD with better humor and personality, and basically the best up and coming AA. Everything was dank af. Even old friends from past AAs were hopping ship and KT was the best then. Thalmor was a bro back then and not anal about KT's image. KT had not lost a war like CKD and was actually growing, not dying. KT's community also had attracted alot of right wing bros and was the most controversial Discord. It was like 4chan /pol/ had left a small turd there and someone stepped and slipped on it, leading to some Mr. Bean tier slapstick where it'd get smudged everywhere. I mean man, that place was lit. KT was attracting all the right kind of controversy and giving no ****s. Shifty's personal problem seemed to have disappeared and his popularity seemed to be rebounding. Hell, he even got a job as head propaganda goy. #1 overall draft pick bois https://i.imgur.com/sBf35i2.jpg Operation Valkyrie: The plot to stop the most evil German in history Shifty was doing well, but on other channels and discords, there were people who would criticize Shifty for the drama (yes, you must be tired of the censoring by now, but hey it's the only way to keep it from coming back. It's like herpes, it never goes away. Ayy lmao). So eventually some time in May, the shit talking about his problems led to his problem talking shit back and resulted in a bizarre OoC argument in the KT round table channel (now known as the Western Wall of Text) which led to many wondering if Shifty had actually been guilty of causing all the drama or if perhaps there was more to the story. A server was created where the actual evidence was posted. Some felt that Shifty was wronged and like true bros, set out as the Thot Patrol. A league dedicated to fighting evil. While Shifty was still pissed off and also feeling thankful and quite touched that he had a true brotherhood, he chose to stay quite as to their motivation and plans. At some point the Thot Patrol was gaining ground and retaliating for the libel and constant harassment of Shifty as a villain. With members around the globe, it would operate by posting counter evidence and public confrontation. At some point, Thorin escalated the efforts and entered a spooky game conduct zone. One where some might deem it too far. Thorin was found using badly made and inaccurate memes for which he was rolled. Eventually, he went onto harass a few people on Discord and finally fell to the ban hammer for trying to hack the game or something. Bless Thorin, despite his unnecessary digital suicide. You will always be hilarious and a bro. Anyway, the fall of Thorin to the ban hammer wasn't enough and eventually they wanted more blood. So they set out to hit Shifty's new found KT's debate chan friends, the Iron Guard. The Iron Guard was already controversial, but due to manipulation and lies, was framed for being part of Thorin's thot patrol actions. In fact, the majority of the alliance was nothing more than right wing shitposters at the time. Either way, Nuke Bloc (specifically Fark) rolled them and a final battle between Shifty and his nemesis was fought with words on the OWF, leading to an awkward moment for most of the community. In the end, the problem ended, but at the cost of a good man, Thorin Oakenshield/Calvin and the entire Iron Guard alliance. Shifty was also told it'd be best if he left Knights Templar as he and Iron Guard had already caused enough damage. (Yeah right Thalmor, like raiding protectorates is so much better.) Never forget, for the truest allies stayed behind and not only acted as a shield, but a sword against the great deceivers. Limited edition Shifty Stranger Iron Guard Aktion Figure w/ real lights and sounds: https://i.imgur.com/6cihUVo.png The Exile After threatening VM for a year and giving up on political ambitions plus memes. Shifty felt empty. The game was lost as his prospective AA was now dead and half the world wanted him dead. In real life, the flashbacks of the betrayal and his shaky relationship with the replacement plus money problems led him to go into exile. Olorin, the chill bro from VE (Viridian Entente) had formed the Dark Brotherhood on paper and was ready for a launch. Having seeked temporary refuge at Resplendent and after having had his freedom from Nuke Bloc persecution by a mysterious and rich investors (cuz Shifty had loads of debt, but the bro was chill too.), Shifty went ahead and joined the Dark Brotherhood. Shifty would not be able to obtain any political seat in DB as he was labeled too controversial and damaging to any TKR/Rose affiliated alliance by the hegemoney leaders. Shifty didn't real care and only sought to pay his debts. After he paid of SO (a debt now spanning nearly a year or more), he began to seek other alliances with lower taxes. Shifty had been a good boi for sometime now and had not incited violence or controversy. So he applied to Hogwarts, which because some members had been in cahoots with enemy, denied his application. It all worked out because they're now semi-disbanded?. Meanwhile, GoB (Grumpy Old Bastards) said "Shifty, you're a scrub m8. 18 cities is crap, git gud, make it to 21-23 at least and dump your nuke/missile stockpile." So the last option was AIM (Advanced Idea Mechanics). Being former BoC, Shifty wondered how chill the AA would be since he used to taunt BoC back in the Obsidian Order and never really talked to them. AIM was like the above average girl that wasn't your top pick, but said yes so she became your 10/10. Shifty is like Biggie, he never loses because he never chooses to: https://i.imgur.com/u3rTH7i.gif The Crossbones Era The tenure in AIM quickly led to a rebranding. Feeling that the Shifty Stranger name was now tarnished and to go for an edgier crowd, Shifty switched to Crossbones after finding out some a-hole in Zodiac had taken the name Red Skull. Crossbones, fitting the AIM theme appropriately, led to Shifty once again taking interest in the alliance he was in. Meanwhile, Shifty as Crossbones, returned with even edgier and more offensive humor (if you can call it that.) He also began to just openly shit on people who had criticized him in the past or turned on him. Nothing major really happened, but it was done long enough to get it going and having some slow to realize people that Shifty hadn't really quit. But it was a good temporary smokescreen. It also marked the end of the ayy lmao meme and the use of ayyliens. Because let's face it, it was really dead and associating with BK culture made no point as BK is now no longer what it used to be. Don't get me wrong, there's some good folks, but it's not the same anymore. New and Improved, now with AIM henchmen: https://i.imgur.com/daB4Vy3.jpg Just say "Shifty" or the second coming of a god Having grown tired of the rebrand and wanting to return to the classic edgy humor, but slowly weening away from the angry, bitter posting of the Crossbones era, Shifty returned as ϟħ̧i̧ᖷɫ̵γ͘ ̶ϟɫΓåπ҉გ℥̨Γ. The more badass and upgraded version 2 of the classic. More edge, more power, and a fusion of everything that made the original 2 godly and absolutely shit at the same time. A bold HD re-imagining launched just in time for Christmas and the 3rd year anniversary. ϟħ̧i̧ᖷɫ̵γ͘ ̶ϟɫΓåπ҉გ℥̨Γ is the most up to date player version and is set to roleplay/perform better than the originals by simply being so radically different from other players, that he'll change the nature of the community and the game. Something never before seen, pre-order now and receive an exclusive code to unlock Earth-251 Shifty, featuring never before seen gameplay abilities. Class, refinement, and elegance, you might think he's the devil himself: https://i.imgur.com/u3hgtLv.jpg